Picture this, you’re in a church basement room somewhere or maybe a VFW hall in your town surrounded by others that have the same addiction you do. “Hi, my name is Paul and I’m a long distance rider”…”Hi Paul” from the group. Tonight’s topic is ‘Theme Rides’ and no, it’s not a small world after all.
Yes, it’s sad but true, I love riding long distances. A twelve to fourteen hour day in the saddle is child’s play. I am a member of the Iron Butt Association and the Long Distance Riders forum. I used to think I had some sort of genetic disorder but most of these people are just plain sick. If you like riding from California to Florida in just two days or through every state in the union in two weeks or less (OK, Hawaii is off the list but you still have to go to Alaska), then you’ll fit right in. Long distance riders know about and have every gizmo known to man that goes on a motorcycle…GPS, extra lights, heated everything, fuel cells, the list goes on and on…and they can tell you how to modify your bike to power all that stuff. It’s way too easy to sucked into all this and that’s why I believe there should be a twelve step program for them.
The other day I was cruising the LDR list and a great topic came up, ‘Theme Rides’…towns with interesting or unusual names and connecting them for a good ride. This became way too much fun and…way too much time on Google Maps. So, thanks to my friends on the list, here are a couple of fun rides for you to consider when you need a good story for your riding buddies. Or, to get that look from your significant other, you know the one…” you’re weird…”
Here ya go…
Whynot (MS) to Bee (NE) to Happy (TX)..The Whynot Bee Happy ride…1725 miles
Love (TX) to Lost City (NV)…The Lost Love ride…1400 miles
Hell Town (OH) to Back Mountain (PA) to Little Hell (VA)…The Two Hells and Back ride…1000 miles
There were a few more floating around in there and then it got even funnier, a list of towns with let’s say, interesting names.
Bowlegs, OK.. Stiffknee Nob,NC.. Sweet Lips, TN..Butts, VA..Loveladies, NJ…Buttsville, NJ…(is that just down the road from Loveladies, NJ???)…Monkeys Eyebrow, AZ…French Lick, In..and what list would be complete without Intercourse, PA.
There were quite a few more on the list but being as this is a family friendly site some would not have been appropriate here. If you’d like a bigger list and I guarantee you will laugh your fanny off, send me an e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send you an ‘entertaining’ list of town names you can ride to.
So now, grab your box of maps, an atlas, a cold beer, click on to Google and make up your own theme ride. It will make for a very fun evening for you. I’ll see you at the Heart Attack Grill in Chandler Arizona